My friend Usha

By Tanya Paul

I write this with great sadness and this is just an outpouring from my heart.

I am Usha’s friend from school. We were from different sections at school and so it was at college during our under graduate years that we became friends. She was a very friendly person and easy to get on with. What stands out where Usha is concerned is that she had the time for you. She made time for you. At every opportunity she would be the first one to see how we could meet up, be it in London when she was on one of her visits or in Chennai during one of my visits.

I was so thankful that she made the decision this time to come to the Wirral and spend a few days with us in our home. I shall treasure the memories of this last visit. She loved beautiful scenery and I used to look forward to her beautiful write-ups on each place she had visited. She and her good friend Shyamala had packed such a lot into the two weeks they spent together in the UK. And although she must have been quite tired after hectic sight seeing in Scotland, she insisted on making ‘vadais’ for all of us – they were the tastiest vadais I had eaten.

She never thought of her own discomfort but was always thinking of ways in which she could help some one else. She was a lovely person and a beautiful human being. I guess she will always be in our midst. When I think of the whatsapp school group that she was instrumental in setting up, I will always thank her for getting me into the group and she will remain a part of it.

Of Navrathri and Ganesha - some of her favourite things

By Lakshmi Srinivasan

I am Malathi's sister, Lakshmi. I went to school with Usha but was not her classmate. I got to know her more closely over the last 10-15 years after she moved back to Chennai. I used to be the link between her and Malathi. Catching up during Navarathri every year became mandatory and I recall her beautiful display of Ganesha idols. Each one was better than the other and had a story to tell. I treasure the take away gifts that she so carefully chose every year. Not to forget the sumptuous tiffin she gave all the visitors - a practice not very common in Chennai. She was so warm, friendly, simple, helpful that I forgot that she was my sister's friend and not my own. I was shocked and upset to hear of her tragic end. I have still not come to terms with the fact that she is no more in our midst. I can still 'hear' her chatty conversation and will surely miss her in the Chennai scene. She came over to our house for Navarathri and it is still fresh in my memory. I will forward a picture taken at the a mini get together of the vidyo class of 1971. Little did any of us know then that this would be our last meeting with her. Knowing Usha, she will still be in touch with us in some unknown way. 
May her soul rest in peace. Heartfelt condolences to the bereaved family. I am sure her soul will linger on for ever.

Long-distance friendship and family

By Anita Freeman

My favorite memory of Usha is how gracious she was, I remember the first time she met Mike at Vidya's PHD defense, My daughter, Karen, was there as well, Usha wasn't so sure about Michael and Vidya dating, After they met, I got a lovely email from Usha telling me how she enjoyed meeting both Karen and Mike and after spending time with Mike and Vidya, she wanted me to know she approved of Michael and felt he was a good life partner for Vidya. I was so touched that Usha took the time to let me know she was fond of my son, as we were already in love with Vidya.. Thus began a friendship conducted by email, What's App and occasionally by phone. When we went to India for the wedding Usha and Sridher could not have been more welcoming, I will miss Usha greatly, she had such a joy for life and an open and warm heart.

In her own words

I thought I'd get this section started with something our mother wrote herself which I personally found very inspiring.

By Usha Ramachandran

Hi Everyone! After getting so used to writing my travel experiences, my fingers were itching to continue penning down more... My friend had left for the US and my daughter, Swetha had gone to Hong Kong (she arrived only this morning) that I did not venture out at all...so I didn't have anything to write about.! Suddenly it struck me to write about something I did last night that I had never ever done before...It was the very first time that I had slept all alone, all night and that too in a different country!!! Most of all who know me well also know that I cannot sleep home alone... Either I will pack up for the night to sleep at a friend's or relative's place or have someone sleep with me whenever my husband goes on tours...The second my daughter told me that she had to go to Hongkong and that after my friend leaves, I will have to be alone for a day, I became nervous. All sorts of fears gripped me... I started to panic... How was I going to survive a whole night all by myself? What if all the lights went off and I was enveloped in sheer darkness? It was an unimaginable situation to me...I was never afraid to stay alone in the day-time. In fact I wait for my husband to go to office to have the whole house to myself...I love to have that peace and quiet at home... But the minute it becomes dark, I need someone at home. I just can't sleep alone...My daughter did arrange for me to be picked up by her friends. But for the first time, something made me tell her that I will manage on my own! Maybe I didn't want her friends to know that a grown-up person like me was literally scared to be home alone... or maybe I wanted to prove that I was brave enough to sleep alone in a foreign country... whatever it was, I, who was hearing impaired and had to take off my hearing aid at night, I who had never ever slept alone at night out of sheer fear, SLEPT all by myself for the FIRST time in my life... Ofcourse I had all the lights on; I had the phone next to me and my hearing aid on! My I Pad was fully charged that I could catch up watching my serials or play a game if sleep eluded me...but I overcame my fear... I wouldn't say it was an undisturbed sleep but sleep I did proving to myself, proving to the world that if you set your mind on something, it can definitely be achieved. I am so proud of myself as if I had done the impossible! Folks, what we need to understand is what we imagine to be unreachable is afterall within our reach... We just have to make one small effort. I think it is the mindset after all...